Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
