maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
