everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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