I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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