I cockslap morals
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
