the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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