everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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