Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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