bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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