dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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