CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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