Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
