I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
