i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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