if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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