In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
