did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
