one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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