hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I did not marry a roomba.
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