Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
