Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
