So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
