Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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