Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
