So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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