it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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