i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
