i jhust puked up my retainher.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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