Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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