Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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