i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
