Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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