I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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