my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
