She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
