On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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