the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
