I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
