yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Found your dick twin last night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
