the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
