I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
