You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
