If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
