I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
