Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
