I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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