i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
