We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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