garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
