new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize